An Improved Emotion Vocabulary

One consequence of conducting counselling, attending therapy and being depressed is I think a lot about feelings. I also tend to be quite analytical so I've been musing on the words that we use to describe how we feel, and how imprecise it can be. Here are some of my thoughts on some commonly used words:

Feeling. This is a word that can mean almost anything, for example: "I feel sad", "I feel like screaming", "I feel that's a bad idea", "I feel empty", "I feel hungry". These five examples are an emotion, a desire, a thought, a metaphor and a physiological symptom.

Frustrated. This is usually used to describe an emotion that is related to anger or annoyance. I think this isn't a helpful definition as I prefer to think of the word "frustrating" describing the situation that I'm in, rather than my emotional response. Like the difference between "alone" and "lonely". Any situation where your desire is obstructed is a frustrating one, but your emotional response could be anger, sadness, anxiety, etc.

Good / Bad / Fine. These are words that barely describe emotions. They are pretty much just code for "comfortable" or "uncomfortable".

Upset. This is a vague description of discomfort. It could mean sad, angry, afraid, etc.

Confused. How you feel when you don't know how you feel.

One concept that is useful when describing emotions is the concept of primary emotions. This is similar to the idea of a primary colour, that is, emotions that are fundamental and that more complex emotions are mixtures of. There are several different lists of primary emotions, but most include something like anger, sadness, fear, happiness, surprise and disgust. Most emotional states can be thought of as mixtures of different amounts of these emotions. For example, hatred is a mix of anger and disgust.

Using emotion words rather than words like "good" help us to better identify how we are feeling. When it is difficult to tell how you are feeling ("upset" or "confused"), try and work out which of the six primary emotions is closest. This will help to improve your emotional vocabulary.